It’s the 60’s and the feminist movement is poppin’ and women desire to be equals to their male counterparts. There’s no secret that we live in a male dominated society. Equal wage for the same work, the desire not to be sexually harassed when at work and being recognized for the inherent strength you possess were all issues that were seemingly swept under the rug. In an act of protest, bra burning effigies were taking place in defiance of the male dominated establishment! Y’all’s foremothers was lit!
During this uprising there needed to be a motto, a slogan or perhaps a song that embodied the struggle. A 25 year old African – American woman named Aretha Franklin took the charge and came up with the song Respect that has forever changed the scope of the music industry! It also catapulted her into super stardom! Generations of people all over the world have heard and know the song to this day! I wasn’t even born when this song was released but can almost sing it verbatim! Aretha hit this one out of the park!
Aside the feminist movement, one might say I didn’t know women wanted respect like that, I thought women wanted to be loved and men needed respect right? On a grand scale, you hear far more women saying they want to be loved by their husbands than respected because if she feels loved she feels respected. So what was Ms. Franklin’s motivation to pen such a dynamic yet contradictory tune? She didn’t. I stumbled onto this information listening to the book Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. In 1965 some guy named Otis Redding (you might have heard of him) wrote this song as he poured his soul out in frustration to marital issues that he and his wife were having at the time. Otis felt that he needed Respect from his wife when he got home and obviously he wasn’t getting it because if he was, this song would’ve never been penned.
Unconditionally Respect Your Husband
This is the lifeline to the very core of his masculinity. If you disrespect your husband, you’ll eventually lose him. You may still be married but he will have checked out completely and all you will have on your hand is a shell of his former self. Someone just read this and got mad! “He doesn’t deserve to be respected is your cry!” I’m sure you have a laundry list of reasons and though they may be valid it doesn’t change the fact that Respect to a man is the oxygen that we need to live! Let’s put this in perspective. Your son is learning how to ride his bike but he keeps falling off. Time and time again he gets on and falls off. It seems as though he’ll never get the hang of it! What do you say to him? Do you say, just stop you aren’t going to learn how to ride just use your legs to get where you need to go and you will be good! Or, do you speak to his potential? “Baby boy, I know you can do it, you are a strong little man and you can do anything you put your mind to!” Sound familiar? Well a boy learning to ride his bike is nothing more than a young “man” in training! You are encouraging him and stroking his ego. Your husband needs that 1000 times more because of what he does every day to prove he loves you! Getting your oil changed, filling your car up with gas, getting the dead squirrel out of the attic, being willing to give his life for you are all part of him showing you the love that you so desperately desire. These may sound menial but we are “provers”. Now I’m not telling you that he’s perfect or that this is easy especially because I know how I am as a man. Giving him respect doesn’t mean not having an opinion. As his wife, you have the right to express Whatever your concerns are to him! If you don’t tell him, I can almost guarantee that he won’t know!! All I’m saying is you expressing your concern with a respectful tone and facial expression will be easier to hear than a rant, or high levels of decibel frustration! Ladies, we don’t like arguing and lots of arguments ensue when you are simply trying to voice your concerns. I’ll leave you with this. Presentation is everything. You never go to a high end restaurant and receive a 5 course meal served on garbage can lids. Your intent, and wonderful advice as right as it may be served in a disrespectful manner does no justice to the meal and in fact he probably won’t eat it.
Peace