- Most of us don’t like arguing. While you may find some guys that enjoy the back and forth, most of us do not care for it. I know that in these “discussions,” you think that we show you that we care because we are passionate and loving enough to come after you and prove ourselves through dialogue. That’s not how we roll. We are huge on peace and harmony. After we’ve said our piece we are done and ready to move on.
- The 6th Love Language…Sex. Yes, I said sex! This is our ultimate expression of love! Contrary to what you think, you are not a piece of meat! Sex to us is comparable to you wanting us to make you feel secure. If he is always trying to “get at you” just know you have his heart. When you are married to the right person and he has shown you in action that he wants the best for you and his family, remember this when he wants to be intimate. We aren’t always really wordy, we are action takers (smile).
- Effort equals appreciation. This goes a long way! Let’s say he has voiced a concern to you about something and you’ve heard him and you are really making a conscious effort in that area. You may be really hard on yourself because you keep falling short. If he sees you striving to respect his request, he will support you and let you know how appreciative he is for your efforts!
- As we get older, we desire more attention. When we start getting closer to 40, we change. Our hair starts to thin, our metabolism slows, our hair begins to gray and the once virile man you knew has to acknowledge he’s getting older. This is very tough! We need you to stroke our ego more! Just be there, shoulder to shoulder. You don’t have to say anything. If he’s grilling, pull up a chair and watch him work and give him an occasional smile. If he’s fixing the car, again pull up a chair and just observe. Touch him more. Give him the “woman arm grab”! We love that kind of stuff! Let him know you are still interested and attracted to him even though he’s gotten older. He’ll love you for a lifetime!
- We want you to be proud of us! It’s innate in us to want to impress you. If you think back to the playground and the crazy things boys did to catch your eye, we’re still the same. We want to be acknowledged in the small things and the big alike. All of the guy stuff you see him do that could be considered normal is recognition worthy. Nothing makes us happier than for wifey to give us a pat on the back and say, “Well done!”
- Don’t take us for granted. Every marriage goes through a rut. After you’ve been together a long time, things change. So many husbands, especially the ones that are considered “good guys,” feel like they are taken for granted. After you get him you have to keep him. If you may not keep your appearance up like you know you should, change it. If you come to bed in those tattered t-shirts and sweats, change it. If he never gets to see your hair because when he comes home the bonnet is always on, change it. It doesn’t have to be every day, but as stated above, a little effort goes a long way! And give him props for what he does. With all of these thirsty, lonely women out here make sure you are not leaving a backdoor open for someone else. Ultimately, cheating is a personal decision, but cause and effect is real! Ask your husband if he feels you take him for granted and be secure enough to listen to his response, uninterrupted! Allow him to share his concerns with you. If you can handle it, this will strengthen your marriage.
In closing, if you feel in your gut things seem off and he hasn’t seemed himself lately, it’s time to talk. He needs to know he can talk to you without you becoming defensive and having all the answers.
Peace